About
I spent seven years talking about the thing I wanted, and not doing it.
I could name every pattern I was stuck in, but naming it never got me to move. If that sounds familiar, you're the person I'm writing for.
The stall
For about seven years I talked about making a big pivot into the work I actually wanted to do. I was capable of it, and I just didn't go. I knew the move, I could name the fear out loud, and I stayed exactly where I was anyway. The thing in my way was never a lack of insight, I had plenty of that. It was that knowing a thing and actually doing it turned out to be two completely different muscles.
The hard way
When I finally went at it, I went at it with grind. Something like 150 resumes over a few years, the "correct" path, pure willpower, and it just didn't work. For a long time I figured I wasn't pushing hard enough. But more discipline was never the piece I was missing, and every time I pushed harder I mostly just dug the hole a little deeper.
What actually moved me
What finally moved me wasn't a clever method, it was pain plus a risk. Screw it, this isn't working, let me get out there. So I moved across the country and put my body in the room. And honestly, it didn't feel like play at the time, it felt like desperate action. But putting myself in the environment and taking the risk is what got me there. The part I'm only realizing now is that play was probably the lighter path the whole time, and I didn't know to reach for it.
Where I am now
The honest truth is I'm building this while I still work a steady day job, one I'm genuinely grateful for. The itch to make something of my own just never went away. So I'm not writing to you from the summit. I'm somewhere mid-climb, figuring this out in real time, on purpose and in public. This is me building toward the life I want, not me telling you I've already got it figured out. The day that "I made it" chapter is actually true, I'll write it. Not a second before.
What I actually bring
Here's what I actually bring. I spent years in software implementation, and the thing I got weirdly good at wasn't the software itself, it was getting people to actually use it, mostly by making it fun and helping them feel seen while they fumbled through something new. I also read people through how they play. I can usually tell more about someone from watching them play pickup volleyball for five minutes than I can from an hour-long conversation. I run my own life on the tech I build, and honestly I'd rather tell you a story that makes you feel an idea than lecture you about it. The through-line, if there is one, is that getting unstuck was never really an information problem for me. It was a will-I-actually-do-it problem. And play, it turns out, is how you get yourself to do the thing.
Come climb with me.
The newsletter is where I tell this story as it actually happens, about a note a week. Or if you'd rather start with yourself, take the quiz and see your own play pattern first. No pressure either way, I'd just love to have you along.